I have been having a lot of conversations about alignment lately - within my personal circle, with my coaching clients and with my students. Alignment really is everything. It is a very interesting and a necessary practice to take a step back and check the company you keep (both personally and professionally). If there's something rubbing you the wrong way about a connection with another individual, that is a sign. It's not to say that the person is wrong or you are right or better than them - it has nothing to do with that whatsoever.
What it does have to do with is values, the ability to set healthy boundaries, the level of personal integrity. Saying "nice" words is just that - it's nice; for me nice is blah. What is powerful is backing your clear language with aligned action.
I feel blessed to have a solid crew of people in my life: those who never waiver in their integrity or ownership of their alignment. For me - this is truly living; all else is just masked fear, and I believe that operating with masks is a total waste of time.
A question I often receive in my coaching practice is “How do you become aligned?”. My answer: You go into yourself - deep. Shine your flashlight of awareness into the hidden corners of your existence and explore - fearlessly. Don't stop, ever: even if you get scared or things become very dark. Keep going, keep exploring. Flip over every single old nasty bolder you encounter, and choose whole-heartedly to see what creatures are living underneath; what you will find are old buried fears and masks - these are things that limit you. The more you go after your limitations, the more bright your values will begin shine.
I love the picture (below) as for me it encapsulates alignment: This gal and I work together, we have an awesome and real friendship, we live together from time to time. We have different personalities, and we don't agree on everything, but things flow. Why? Because we are aligned. Our core values match: we hold high integrity and authenticity within our expression (those who know us I imagine would agree).
Your values are required to align; that’s the first step. Your values are the characteristics that are of the utmost importance to you. My values are integrity: defined as authenticity and loyalty and empowerment: defined as walking the talk. What are your values? How do you live them?